Once again, my kid is showing me up.

In recognition of the beginning of Lent last week, I led a Yoga class focusing on discipline and a short discussion about the practice of selective renunciation (like what you do during Lent – give up something for a period of time to help strengthen your will). Some people in the class mentioned what they were with holding in their lives during Lent, and I gave a broader example of this kind of practice to help build discipline in the mind.

I got a nice taste of the benefits of this kind of work recently with having to give up gluten (and also dairy, as it turns out). Without having done a lot of crazy experiments in giving up certain food items in the past, I think cutting out gluten and dairy would be a lot more stressful.

So, here I was thinking I was pretty skilled in this game, and then Clair got into the game. Two weeks ago, she pronounced that she no longer sucks her fingers. Aside from a couple of habitual slips, which she quickly corrected, she has completely stopped sucking her fingers! Just like that!

Perhaps she is just demonstrating how aptly she was named. Her name translates to “clear Truth”. In one commentary of the Yoga Sutras, the concept of Truth (Satya) in her name means not only one who literally tells the truth. When someone is strongly rooted in the practice of Satya, whatever they say is, by definition, Truth. So, my little Satya proclaimed the end of a powerful habit and POOF, it is done. Amazing.

We have asked her why she decided to stop sucking her fingers. She hasn’t really given us an answer. I know something happened at Kindergarten, but she doesn’t seem to be stressed about it. I don’t know if she just noticed that no one else sucks their fingers (there are some thumb suckers). I am going to inquire with the care givers there to see if we’ve missed anything, but she seems quite happy about it so after today, we won’t make a big deal out of it.

Today, however, we had cake. I told her that since it was hard for her to quit, I thought she deserved a cake. She agreed (Elmo cake pan was requested, and mama got a glutin/dairy free cake mix!). The cake sucked, but it was covered in Betty Crocker icing, which is essentially sugar and fat (no gluten or dairy!) so it tasted just fine. Lily loved it as you can see in th photo below. Also, in that photo, you will see her first posed smile! I pulled out the camera, and she put on a smile for the first time! She is getting so big.

cake

smily girls

Matthias was in the mood to do some nice cooking tonight, so we get some healthy meals for the next few days! It is nice when a bunch of vegetables are about to expire and he has energy to make something good out of them.

cooking

I have been building a lot in the past couple of years. Well, ‘a lot’ by the standards of someone who builds in the corner of her tiny kitchen using two IKEA dinner chairs as a make-shift work bench.

I need up building a lot of things that I never properly finish by doing things like painting and just putting on the touches that make something look finished. However, last week, I finally finished one!

So, in September 2010, I built Clair a kitchen – version 1.0

finished kitchen in place

Christmas that year, I upgraded it a bit to version 2.0

Kitchen version 2.0

I was pretty satisfied with that version, but lately, I have been feeling the need to add some color to our life. So, Clair and I set to work on finishing her kitchen. She was totally jazzed about painting it, and I used tons of masking tape so we could attempt to isolate the different colors (she is even worse than I am about putting the paint where it belongs). I even tried to mix a few of the colors and was happy with some of the results. I even found a cute little coat rack with colorful frogs on it that had been sitting around our house for years (I couldn’t figure out where to put it). I took it apart, used the frogs as a back splash and used the pegs for little accents at the top. I LOVE it now.

Here is the kitchen just after the final paint was added

Kitchen version 3.0

And here it is with the accents and all of her stuff in it (just before that stuff exploded all over the kitchen and living room). Note the happy little girl who helped paint her own kitchen.

Kitchen final version

It only took me like two years, but the end result is great. I think the total cost was on the order of 75 Euros (the initial inspiration for building a kitchen was because the nice wooden ones were REALLY expensive)

Next project is a toddler double bed. I may cheat and hack up some Ikea stuff, but maybe paint would make the whole things nicer in the end.

In the haze of travel, I never posted a very important thing; Lily turned 1!!

Technically, she wasn’t one until we got back to Germany, but since we are not German, we celebrated a bit early in Phoenix. Who am I to deny grandma the chance to bake her a cake? Since my brother and dad’s birthdays were all within a few days of each other, we combined them for a fun, 1st, 40th and 67th birthday celebration.

Clair, of course, had to help grandma make the cake.

Lily's first birthday

Lily's first birthday

The finished product was lovely, and it is also very similar to Uncle Mark’s first birthday cake (and also mine, I think).

Lily's first birthday

The obligatory standing by the first birthday cake photo. Lily was having none of it, so this was the best photo we could get.

Lily's first birthday

Perhaps, she just wanted grandpa to hold her

Lily's first birthday

Clair was not too thrilled with the fact that everyone was singing happy birthday to Lily rather than her.

But then she got cake, and she was OK with it.

Lily's first birthday

Lily got her own train car and went to town

Lily's first birthday

And, then grandpa’s cake started to look pretty good too.

Lily's first birthday

After some cake, Grandpa absorbed some of the sugar crazy, and also composed what is now known as the “Lily Song”


Good Genes

This is my aunt Sib – may her genes be somewhere in my aching middle aged body.

Prescott

She is the sister of my maternal grandmother, and she is 90 years old. She lives on her own in a nice house in Prescott. We went to visit her while in Phoenix, and she looks amazing as always. Actually, looking at old photos, I could honestly tell her that she looks even better at 90 than she did at 70!

What is even more amazing is that her good health is not just superficial. Thanks to some recent medical issues, she had a full neurological work up. Fortunately, the problems she been having may be easily treatable. But, the doctor told her that she has the brain of a healthy 60 year old! I guess that explains why she can still take care of herself and her home. Not to mention that she knitted the girls matching caps this time (she also sewed Clair a dolly the last time we were there).

Man, I hope I have inherited some of those genes!!

Boxes, Little boxes

We are definitely not in Phoenix anymore. Rather than walk out back into the sunshine in the morning, we need to do this before taking the girls out for a walk (if we leave the house at all):

January

Fortunately, we have had the benefit of boxes to help fill the time! First, we got a new ceiling lamp so Clair got to practice being a contortionist. This photo also shows off Lily’s giant and surprisingly square head.

fun with boxes

Then, thankfully, Clair’s new car seat came to us over the weekend, and it came in a huge box! It couldn’t have come at a better time since both girls we sick, and we were stuck inside for two days. So, how much can we get out of one box?

Well, we built a house on the first evening. Then, the next morning, of course, we had to paint it. Fortunately, Santa brought the girls some painting supplies.

fun with boxes

fun with boxes

The next day, the house was far less exciting. so WINGS! Clair needed wings! (not sure where that came from).

fun with boxes

Lily needed a pair as well, and then we had to watch the Sesame Street episode where they try to teach a baby bird to fly. This, upon reflection, was not the best idea. It did distract them for a few minutes, but it was quite a let down when Clair realized that her wings didn’t actually work.

fun with boxes

By the end of day 2 of the big box, Clair needed a puppet show.

fun with boxes

Not bad for one box. It is still standing so far. I give it another week before we have completely chopped it up.

As an aside, and because it is such a cute movie, this is something else we spend time doing at the moment. Someone is very enthusiastic about peak-a-boo (that someone may be me). sorry about the sideways video; I was distracted by the baby cuteness.

Sometimes Clair goes off on little monologues these days. She just babbles about an idea that she is sorting out. Sometimes, it is funny.

Last night, on the way to get Matthias after Kindergarten, she had a toy lightsaber in the back seat and she was trying to figure out how to work the telescoping part of it.

“What does this button do?………”

“Oh, it SQUISHES people!!…..”

(in a very serious voice) DON’T squish people. DON’T squish people!”……..

(in a maniacal voice) “I’m Squishing LILY!!”

oh, the moral dilemmas of three year olds.

I keep thinking of great, funny things to post. Then, life happens and I haven’t posted that great post before something else interesting happens, and then I get a bit muddled trying to keep track of my ideas. Then, I just forget about it and move on. I think a great blog post is becoming my white whale.

Anyway, so here is a not so great blog post about a bunch of stuff that could have potentially made interesting posts all on their own if I could ever make the space in my life to blog properly.

1) I made a bit of a leap recently regarding my cultural orientation here in Germany. Being a foreigner gives one the feeling of constantly being slightly confused.

My new revelation came while I was starting to compose a post about how the Germans were all trying to shop while I was shopping last week. If I haven’t mentioned it before, I hate shopping, generally. I do it because that is part of my job as a grown up, but I generally try to do it with good company (Hi, Sarah) and at times when many other people do not like to shop.

Last week, there were people all over my shopping! I couldn’t get my parking spaces and there were lines everywhere. I thought, really, is it ALREADY Christmas shopping season here? Then, my friend Micha pointed out that last week was the fall school break!

So, what I learned was a new thing about how Germans spend their time during the fall break. I already knew that spring break was mostly for the last ski runs, summer break is to go to Spain or Italy (mostly, as far as I can tell). Now, I’ve learned that fall break is for shopping! I was wondering why the stores were going nuts with the Christmas stuff, but apparently, that is when people get started on the Christmas plan. I mean, what else are you going to do stuck with your kids at home for a week? Well, honestly, I can think of about a thousand things I would rather do than drag them to a crowded shopping center, but that is just me, apparently.

2) I have awesome friends! My friend Jentry, who is super enthusiastic and awesome, was thoughtful enough to send out a message like last April seeing if anyone was interested in a spa weekend. After trying to coordinate ten women, the soonest date we could do it was in November!

She booked the rooms, and last weekend, me and nine of my closest friends headed to a spa for a fancy slumber party (OK, technically, I never met one of them before, but she fit right in)! It was just over night, but it was a blast. It was a spa in the Czech Republic, which is less than 2 hours from us. We were the youngest (and loudest) guests several years and a few decibels. Seriously, you could hear us cackling from anywhere in the place. It was awesome.

Plus, there was drinking and giggling without ANY children for over 24 hours! Sarah was my roommate, and it was a great match because we both prioritized sleeping in over breakfast. Oh, sleepy mornings. How I miss you.

There was almost no picture taking on my part because that would have required work and focus. Both of which were forbidden on this trip in my mind.

We all gathered in the spa’s library just before leaving, and I found my friend monet enjoying the interesting selection:

The Medical History of Adolph Hitler
photo

photo

And, of course, don’t forget
photo

Is this the kind of thing they have in all Czech spas?

3) Hacking more furniture

Since we have just over a week before our big trip (!!!), I suddenly had an urge to procrastinate from preparing. So, what do we need more than anything? Why a standing desk, of course!

After checking out what IKEA and amazon had to offer in this area and being shocked by the 600 Euro sticker price, I decided that I could hack up something for about 25 Euros. Plus, the ones I saw that electronically raised and lowered looked like great finger pinchers, and we are trying to avoid chopping of our kids fingers, generally. They all also looked like they were a bit unstable for having a three year old climb up them, which is bound to happen.

So, I built a couple of stilts for the desk today. I still need to clean up the space around it, but that can wait until we get back.

photo

I am standing at it as I post this, and I LOVE it! I am kind of surprised at how awesome it feels. Admittedly, part of my motivation behind it is that I simply cannot sit at a computer when both kids are here. It is like they have a sensor that goes off if I try to sit down. They are in my lap before I can blink or pulling me out of the seat. If I am standing, they seem to suddenly be able to entertain themselves for longer periods of time.

Yoga Thought of the Day: What is Important

It’s coming upon 14 years since I started practicing Yoga. This is the only thing I have stuck with this long so far, and I cannot imagine my life moving forward without it. I can list a lot of details of the positive benefits I have from returning to my Yoga practice regularly, but they are all kind of side effects of what I think is the bigger result of this kind of inner work.

Yoga has given me a way to ask myself, everyday, “What is important?” The profound impact of this question is becoming more apparent with time. Thinking about this everyday can have a detrimental effect on the unimportant things, but it also having a powerful effect on the important things.

Although Yoga helps one ask the question, it doesn’t provide the answer. All of the answers are already there just waiting to be seen, if you ask me.

As for my personal journey, I am finding that as I grow, my life is generally moving in a direction that supports what is important to me. What is important changes with time and experience, but I am developing a deeper respect for the choices I make and faith in the direction that these choices are taking me. As a result, I feel much more comfortable in my own skin no matter where I am.

When was the last time you asked yourself, “What is important? How are my actions today supporting this? How are they working against what is important to me?”

This is probably not written in any parenting book, but sometimes, your three year old has the ability to drill a hole into the side of your head with their voice. Maybe not literally, but sometimes it feels like it. It is hard to be a good mom on mornings when she pulls out her drill.

It is adorable (I’m sure) when she tells me, “Mommy LOOK! A lady bug!” If I don’t respond, she keeps saying it over and over and over and over and over……………………………………….. It gets to the point where I really want to respond by yelling, ‘I don’t care about your F*#king Lady Bug!! Can you just give me five F*#cking second along, PLEASE” (We always say please in this house because it is just polite).

But, I don’t respond that way because it is not fair to take out your grouchy morning bitchiness at the cute little girl who just wants you to see the amazingness of a F*#king lady bug. You try to be enthusiastic when she brings over a squished spider on her finger, and you need to peel it off (she if often sticky) to put it in the trash. yeah, ladybugs.

She is in Kindergarten now. I need another cup of coffee…..

Since Clair’s birthday last week, the girls and I have been on our own while Matthias enjoyed a trip to Japan… as much as one can enjoy a long flight followed by a full week at work without ANY kids. He enjoyed it tremendously, I think.

He set off, literally, as the girls and I headed to the birthday party. It was a good week, but it definitely required a lot more energy than it normally takes to get through a week. It feels like the week lasted an eternity. Toward the end, it became a little more challenging because Clair was missing Matthias and Lily started a phase where she has to be in my presence to put herself to sleep. Her little hand reaches out searching for me until she is totally asleep. If I am not there, she starts a screaming fit (I hope this is a short phase).

Yesterday, my friend Penny was also on her own with her three boys so we combined forces and took them all to the Nuremberg Zoo. It was an amazingly beautiful fall day so the place was going to be packed, but we got there when it opened to it wasn’t too crazy. It is a huge zoo so it is big enough to handle five kids (three of which ran themselves silly most of the day). They just finished building an outdoor area for the dolphins and sea lions as well as a new manatee exhibit. I don’t know if the new tanks are any bigger than the old ones, but they are outside and seemed nicer than the old ones. It is still tough to see dolphins in captivity even if it has lovely landscaping.

We ended up being at the zoo from 10 until 5! The kids were destroyed! Both girls were asleep almost as soon as they got in the car. It took an hour to get home, and unfortunately, they both woke up once home. I would have let them sleep in all of their filth, but since they were up, everyone ate and got cleaned up. Clair always has trouble winding down after a big day, so her and I were up until 10:30. She told me about her day over and over again and we got to chat on Skype with my friend Lis and her daughter from Phoenix.

This morning, daddy finally came home! This was the first time that Clair got a bit emotional when one of us came back from a trip. She held him for a few minutes, and it wasn’t clear whether she was laughing or crying. She has been sticking to him like glue all morning. They are both in bed now. He is trying to rest, and she is lying next to him making up for lost time on the IPad. There is a moment of peace for me until Lily wakes up!!

In two weeks, it will be my turn to leave for a few days (to DC for some work-stuff)!!! I can’t even tell you how excited I am to go and also, how hard it is to think of leaving. I need to do a lot of work to prepare for the meeting in the next two weeks, but once there, I am making plans to enjoy the evenings with an old friend and maybe some old coworkers. Matthias will also get a chance to figure out how to take care of both kids on his own for a few days.

Here are a few photo from the week (mostly from yesterday since I didn’t really take many photos during the week).

The first time ever that the girls have fallen asleep together. It happened only once this week.
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Adorable kids! Nathan (the oldest) and Luca are also in Clair’s Kindergarten (and she adores them). I love the way the three-year-olds are practicing their posed smiles.
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Clair took this photo of the boys. I think it is her best photo so far.
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More adorable kids
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This is Penny the super mom who packed a picnic for all of us. This was taken toward the end of the day, when each kid needed somewhere to sit (or hang).
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R2D2We had a party today for Clair and her friend Emma who is three years and one day older than Clair. Emma’s mom, Micha, and I planned the party at a local indoor playground caller Trampolino.

As an aside, I’ve realized that Micha and I make the perfect team for planning our kids’ parties. We eventually remembered to actually officially invite people about two weeks before (though we had mentioned the date earlier as we saw friends). Thursday night, I sent her a message on Facebook that said something like, “maybe we should talk about the party” and I write down who I thought might be coming. She sent me a google spreadsheet that she threw together and we could share online. Since her phone battery was dead, we use IM to sort out the details (while drinking a little liquor – it helped). We began to realize that what we thought was a small party would be one with about 19 kids!!! Anyway, we sorted out the details and made snarky messages about our husbands for the next hour, and we had a party!!

It turned out remarkably well! I have to say that one of the fundamentals of our strategy is that we are not too picky, and that the main ‘theme’ of the party was to let the kids play like crazy without too much structured activities. All in all, it was a great party, and Clair had a great time. She couldn’t really wrap her head around presents on top of the activity, but once we got home, she played with all of her toys over and over again. (Janda, apparently, the lovely oven mits are also doctor’s gloves)

I am too wiped out to make an nice annotated post of the cutest photos. I will sacrifice the time needed to do that so I can do just a bit of my Yoga practice before I pass out. Instead, I offer the slide show and a link to the photos

Plus, here are a couple of videos:

This is a quick glimpse of the scene (you will understand why I have really annoying music rolling around in my head this evening)

Here is the Happy Birthday song and the gaggle of children

I keep thinking of posts again (instead of actually writing them). This usually means that I can’t be bothered to write or, more likely, I can seem to find the time or energy to sit in front of the computer and actually produce something.

So, tonight, the kids passed out early(yay !!). I can think!

Clair has been going to Kindergarten for a couple of weeks now, which means she is a bit nuts in the evenings as she comes down off of the new experience. Tonight, I just had to pin her down (literally) for about a minute and she started getting sleepy. She couldn’t even handle a book.

She has some fun expressions at the moment, and they are giving me glimpses into how I, apparently, speak.

Rather than just say ‘no’ when I ask her things, she now says either “not today” or “I’m not sure.” It is a bit annoying when I say “Clair, please pick that up” and she answers “not today!” (she adds the exclamation point). Or, I ask her what she did in Kindergarten today, and she says “I’m not sure.”

Since yesterday, she has stated saying “I can’t!” when I ask her to do things. I know she gets that from me because she often asks me to do things while I am in the middle of doing something else, and I tell her that I can’t. Generally, she is working on her basic but important – I need, I want, I can (or can’t), I see, I hear, I do (I no do!). We are working with conjunctive because just once it would be nice to hear “Could I have some juice” rather than “I need juice!” She is also still struggling with ‘th’ and ‘v’. I have a great video from this morning when I ask her if she wants me to take a photo or a video, and she starts to say ‘wideo’ and corrects her self to say ‘video!’

She is finally starting to want to be a big girl. Since Lily has been around, she usually wants to be a baby again. However, for the first time last night, she proclaimed that she is a big girl and will not wear a diaper to bed! Until then, she was always happy to have a diaper at night so she could just pee in bed.

She seems to be really trying to talk to people and make friends at Kindergarten. Both of these things seem to be a challenge for her. I’ve told her that it is OK if she doesn’t want to talk to people and that it is OK if it she is a little afraid of talking to new people (I told her that I am afraid sometimes too). Yesterday, she very proudly told me that she talked to a friend! Then, today, she dragged me over to a ‘big girl’ who is her ‘best friend’ on the playground. The girl looked at both of us like we were nuts…I have never seen the girl before so she must be in another group in the Kindergarten. No idea why Clair decided that she is her best friend. She said something about the girl pinching her in the potty (…??) She also said “she is nice to me.” Clair’s daily summaries are a bit incoherent and partially fictional so it’s tough to figure out what is going on.

I think she is figuring out how to express her emotions a bit more at the moment. She will randomly tell me that she is angry once in a while – “I’m so angry!” She also gives me things to make me “happy,” which just melts my heart. She also tells me when she is happy or sad. It is cool to see her identifying her emotions sometimes.

Lily, on the other hand, is just starting to kind of wake up to the world. She has always been really smiley, but now she is reacting a bit more. she likes to shake her head and wait for you to shake yours back. She is great with my mom on Skype (a magic talking head as far as she is concerned). She has started nodding at my mom and mimicking her movements. Mom LOVES it! Plus, she can keep Lily entertained a bit in the mornings while I get Clair going. At the moment, Clair mostly ignores grandma on Skype so it works out well.

Lily is still not mobile, thank goodness. She is close, and really, she does a but of a bumm shuffle. She got herself to her hands an knees today, so it is coming. She has such a determined expression to get things. She is starting to screech if she can’t get it or if it falls out of her hand. I think she will be unstoppable once she gets going. She wants to touch EVERYTHING. We have to start thinking about small objects lying around the house again. It was so nice to not have to worry so much about Clair eating everything… but that time is past and we have to make sure Lily doesn’t eat everything.

Last night, I went to dinner with a friend. It seemed like it was going to be an easy night putting the girls down. Lily was asleep when I left, and Clair and Matthias were reading books in bed. However, around ten, I got a call from a very unhappy husband who had, apparently, been having a very rough night. By the time I got home, Clair had fallen asleep, and I found Lily and Matthias in bed. Matthias looked like he was dead. Lily was lying next to him, holding his hand. I could hear her sucking vigorously on her thumb and staring with huge eyes at her daddy. It was really cute, and I tried not to laugh because he was really annoyed with her at that point. She had thoroughly defeated him.

I think I may be taking a break from using the carrier with Lily. After a few weeks of observations, I think it is clear that when I use the Ergobaby, I get pressure on my sciatic nerve. When I was pregnant with Lily, I was introduced to my sciatic nerve twice (if you’ve never been introduced to your sciatic nerve, I don’t recommend it). After Lily was a few months old, I would get a bit of sciatic now and then. I finally started noticing that it would come back after using the carrier. It is getting better with time, but I think I need to strengthen my back more before trying to use it very much again. It is not such a bit loss. I used it a lot with Clair but when I have both girls, it is easier to have Lily sitting in a stroller so I can bend over more easily to help Clair. I’ll stay away from the carrier until I can comfortably do some strong back bends and then perhaps give it another try.

That is about all that is happening with the ever changing kiddos. There are lots of activities to report. Clair turned 3!! We are having a party this weekend, so I’ll try to post on that and maybe even remember to take a few photos! I am really bad at that lately, but here are a couple of photos:

Chatting with Grandma in cowboy hats (that would be Nutella all over Clair’s face)
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A rare moment of the two girls playing really nicely with grandma watching on. It’s really fortunate that if we have to be so far apart, that the time difference is 9 hours. That way, we see grandma and grandpa in the mornings and evenings.
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